Thought for the week: Consider the blessings of marriage

They have known each other for some years, are hard-working, well-mannered and come from caring, stable families. All augurs well for their future together.

Their visit brought home to me once again the inestimable benefits of coming from a stable family, where husband and wife are committed to one another in marriage. There are many in our society who choose to cohabit, regarding wedlock as a padlock.

Others, through no fault of their own, live in one-parent units. I make no moral judgement on that. I have no desire to ‘victim shame’. Indeed, I have great admiration for those who strive single-handedly to care for their offspring.

Yet there are some alarming statistics which show the benefits which stable marriages contribute to the fabric of society. Studies of actual outcomes for children show, incontestably, that children have the best outcomes when they are raised by their genetic parents, who have committed themselves to one another in marriage. On this both the science and the teachings of the church are in agreement.

Why, some might ask, is the marriage thing so important? Cohabitees are five times more likely to split up during the first three years of their relationship compared with those who have sealed that relationship with a public vow. People remarry, of course, but studies show that stepdads and stepmums do not have quite the same emotional investment in their recently acquired children.

While in many cases the arrangement works, there have been enough recent cases of child abuse by a stepparent to sound an alarm.

Since the year 2000, one quarter of children born in the United Kingdom are in single-parent households. While there are many valiant exceptions, statistics indicate that children raised by single parents do less well at school, are more likely to be impoverished, more likely to use drugs and alcohol, more likely to develop mental problems and less likely to get a well-paid job. Almost half of single mums and dads are reckoned to be in relative poverty. Besides, the offspring of single parents are far more likely to go on to become single parents themselves. The cost to society, and not just in financial terms, is huge.

The test of any civilised society is the care it provides for its least fortunate members. That said, it is surely time to trumpet the blessings of marriage, and to remind a growing generation that all privileges bring responsibilities. The Greek writer Homer, many centuries before Christ, observed: ‘There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends’.

About the same time a biblical writer set down this: ‘The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for a man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’ (Genesis 2; 18).