Written by Derek Corbett and Derek Beattie, Delaney’s Donkeys was a cheeky poem read by Santos boss Jackie Delaney at one end of season dinner.
We’re gathered here this evening at our annual dinner do
So I’ll tell you all a story but I’ll not say that it’s true.
It’s about a bunch of lads, the likes you’ve never seen
There were a lot of idiots that went to make our team.
In goals we’ve got Jim Gailey, he’s got a lot of fans
He looks like Des O’Connor so we call him Careless Hands.
At right-half we’ve Walter, the lad who does his best
If he could play like he could gaunch, we wouldn’t need the rest.
In the middle we have Vincent who could jump up to the sky
He never seems to head the ball because his hair gets in his eyes.
At left-half is Ian Roulston, he trains on the weights,
When he goes in to tackle, he’s sure to clock his mates.
At outside-right there’s Raymie, the baby of the team,
He prances up and down the line just like a fairy queen.
At inside-right there’s Mickey, he played for Banbridge Town,
A man from Duffy’s came to sign him as replacement for the clown.
Playing down the middle, there’s lads who do look silly,
There’s little tubby Dennis and great big stupid Billy.
They’re not really stupid, they have scored a few.
Dennis he has knocked in one while Billy he’s scored two.
At outside left, the red-head boozer, who never drinks on Sundays,
To see him on a Saturday, you’d swear he’s on the Mundies.
At number 12 it’s Gerry, he never shuts his gub.
He never comes to training nights, oh what a faithful sub.
On standby I’ve had plenty, in fact I’ve quite a few
But I haven’t time to talk all night so I’ll only name a few.
The first was little Minto but I had to leave him out
For he arrived at every match-day with his belly full of stout.